Why the old way of parenting no longer works

Parenting & Childcare
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leah-lewis
leah-lewis followed this discussion
1. Say goodbye to 'Father Knows Best' - Lewis explained that while authoritarian parenting did often help children do better at school and stay out of trouble, it often left them emotionally scarred. This was the reason that many parents in the 1980s, who were raised by authoritarian moms and dads, took the opposite approach and moved to a more permissive parenting style.

2. Creating a consequence contract - The fact that the child goes into his room without any resistance shows us that he understands the need for self-regulation, even if he can't always achieve it. As Lewis explained, change takes time, and our approaches to behavioral problems will likely require a fair amount of experimentation, forgiveness and patience along the way.
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Do you agree that parenting style should be updated? What old way of parenting do you still use? Does it work? Have you tried any new way of parenting? How did that work for you?
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lori.may
lori.may followed this discussion
The old school way of parenting is always about the family, not the children. In other words, in any decision-making situation, consideration of the family unit should take precedent over consideration of any individual child.
14 d
In the authoritarian style of parenting, children are expected to follow the strict rules established by the parents. Failure to follow such rules usually results in punishment. They don't explain the reasoning behind these rules and if asked to explain, the parent might simply reply,"Because I said so." That's not enough reason for kids now that's why it fails.
14 d
I was brought up by very strict parenting style. While I do not agree and don't apply that style of parenting to my kids, I know it still made who I am now. I still believe kids need to be disciplined and I actually use the term 'consequence' with my toddler. I should make some sort of consequence contract with her next time.
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Of course. Parents need to adapt with the times and the old way is obviously outdated especially with the spanking.
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Children benefit from having parents with distinct parenting styles, and that family breakdown poses a serious threat to children and to the societies in which they live.
13 d
There are parents who fail to be parents because they are not understanding positive parenting quite well. They thought that they shouldn't be scolding their kids so they fail to discipline them. Disciplining kids is still important and can be done positively.
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Avoiding saying this like 'Father Knows Best', I think, is important so as not to harm your kid's self-esteem. I phrase my sentences carefully such that I still convey my thoughts but don't ridicule or put down my kids.
12 d
I was raised in a Christian household in which my parents believed that sparing the rod spoils the child. There are so many verses in the bible teaching parents to be aggressive and authoritarian. My parent's were simply doing their best to do as God commanded them. Yet the studies are now showing that biblical child rearing is cruel, and inefficient at best.
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Today’s parents would be hard-pressed to deny that they are more concerned with their children’s skills than they are their children’s manners. When is the last time you heard a parent crow about his or her child’s mastery of social courtesies?
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Old style parenting can work but it depends on the child. If you’ve parented a child from a traumatic past for any length of time, you already know that traditional parenting techniques do not work.
11 d
This is a good article about traditional parenting where it says -

Men and women bring different gifts to the parenting enterprise, that children benefit from having parents with distinct parenting styles, and that family breakdown poses a serious threat to children and to the societies in which they live.

Read more here - https://www.forbes.com/sites/realspin/2015/07/22/making-the-case-for-traditional-parenting/#2a2ddfda343b
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10 more people followed this discussion
As a toddler, I've already introduced the concept of consequence to my kid. It's a hit and miss though. But I believe it is important to continue teaching that concept to her. Eventually, she will fully learn it.
10 d
I don't see how old style parenting can't work. We all grew up to be responsible adults who knew the difference between right and wrong.
8 d
I think there's still some good in old style parenting. Maybe we should just pick and choose what style would work best for your family and your kids' personalities.
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