Love, Dating & Relationships​​

Once a cheater, always a cheater

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Being cheated on by a person you love and trust is incredibly hurtful. When you are cheated on it impacts the core of how you interact with people.

Infidelity makes raw nerves of things like trust, self-respect, self-worth and ego identity. People who have been cheated on often have difficulty trusting again. They either avoid relationships altogether or become detached serial-daters. People who have been cheated on are afraid of being hurt again.

In a strange twist many people who have been cheated on cling to the person who has betrayed them. It is a devil-you-know mentality.

People who have been cheated on feel that they could never trust a new person so they are better off staying with somebody they know and hoping that person will change. The change they hope for rarely comes. https://www.liveabout.com/can-you-ever-trust-a-cheater-3196490
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Indigo.Williams
Indigo.Williams followed this discussion
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The saying 'once a cheater, always a cheater' may have some truth in it, according to a study. People who have been unfaithful in the past are far more likely to do it again - compared to those who have always been faithful. Researchers say this is because infidelity desensitises the brain from the negative emotions linked to lying. Therefore, even if a cheater feels guilty about lying the first time, they are less likely to experience the same level of regret the next time around. The study was published in the journal Nature Neuroscience
5 mths
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Can a cheating partner ever change?
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pi followed this discussion
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People say cheating is not a mistake, its a choice. And rightly so
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Cheating is almost always unforgivable, and is never justifiable. Its never okay to cheat. However, there might be very tiny number of cases where a person who has cheated can be given another chance and be trusted to change/never do it again.
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If you are referring to infidelity, anecdotal evidence gained by P.Is suggests that, often at least, a cheater will indeed always be a cheater
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No. Not every person that cheats once will do so a second time.
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Some people learn from their mistakes. They work hard to not make the same mistake twice. Then again, there are people who are just stupid and will never learn, no matter how hard life slaps the shit out of them. Stupid people have the tendency to blame others for being stupid.
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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. There are two main parties to cheating, the cheater and person cheated on. The person that participated in the cheating with the cheater gets no consideration, IF they were aware they were participating in an adulterous relationship. You have to ask yourself if you are willing to be shamed if a second affair occurs. I don’t believe every person will re-offend, but there’s a very high probability that it will happen. There’s also a high probability that you will never fully trust the person again. Either of these two options are hard to live with.
4 mths
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Personal opinion, consider leaving the relationship. It may hurt like hell, but the old saying about fish in the sea is true. You will spend a considerable amount of time trying to heal, either from staying and trying to rebuild trust with someone that betrayed you, or from severing the ties you built with that person.
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I believe in “twice a cheater, always a cheater” - most people often make the mistake once and never again if they really love and appreciate their partner
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It is actually easier to deal with being cheated by two different people, than being cheated by the same person twice, because at least you acted in your safest interests.
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Every relationship has its own dynamics, and often what might drive someone to cheat in one, once the “cheater” manages to extricate them self from the toxic relationship or the situation that led to them looking for companionship and contact, validation, whatever it was they were seeking, and finds a new relationship that does have that thing they so needed, they will not have any reason to go outside their relationship to find it. Their needs are being satisfied and they are happy to stay home, WANT to stay home. Sometimes they are so grateful to have what they now have that they would never even dream of doing it again.
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10 more people followed this discussion
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“Once a cheater always a cheater” is a stereotype. It’s a widely held but fixed oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person
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oi oi
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