Maya Method: How To Get Kids To Do Chores

Parenting & Childcare
Drop file here to send
Ends in 8 d, 20 h
Start them early. Kids of all ages can help around the house but their tasks should always be age-appropriate. The earlier you start asking them to help out, the sooner it will become part of their routine.
18 d
10 more people followed this discussion
I don't think that's a good idea. A 2016 article in the Atlantic, “Against the Sticker Chart,” warned me that rewarding kids for good behavior “can erode children’s innate tendency to help others.”

It will make kids expect something in return every time he does something. This is not something we want for their future.
I agree. I was told, rewards could make kids callous and manipulative. I imagined my daughter leering at me: “How much will you pay me not to hit my sister with this ball?”
18 d
Do you think this will work? How do you get your kids to help around the house?
I disagree. Rewards can be useful in some situations and inappropriate in others, much like every other parenting tool. I don't think any kid liked doing chores. Heck, adults don't like doing chores but we know we have to do it because you've reached a level of maturity.
17 d
I think the reward behavior can work for certain activities but it won't work for chores. You only think of offering incentives if a child is struggling and resisting. If you give the kids a reward one time, they will expect that every time.
17 d
I believe that rewarded people are not less willing to the work and they do not display a less favorable attitude toward tasks than people who do not receive rewards. It's just a matter of whether you mind having a pouty kid in the house. I'd say skip the reward because he will be dragging his feet either way.
17 d
I don’t want my kids to clean up their toys only when we offer them rewards. I want them to grow into people who like to keep their rooms neat. I want to shape their behavior permanently and rewards will undermine that.
17 d
I think one key reason the rewards system works is that they facilitate “repeated behavior.” The more your children do the good things you reward him for like tidying up, using a fork, stifling a tantrum then, the more routine that repeated behavior becomes. Hopefully and eventually, it just becomes part of who he is.
16 d
When parents learn how to use positive feedback and rewards, I know the kids’ behavior improves. This happened with my kids. There was a time when my kid would just throw his dirty clothes on the floor, we did the reward system and in about 3 months, we stopped finding dirty clothes on the floor so we moved on to a new goal.
16 d
I think reward systems weaken and undermine parent-child relationships. You are the parent, you just order your children to do their chores.
15 d
Isn't rewarding like bribing your kids? I don't agree with anything that rewards laziness. This is not how you train your kids for the real life.
15 d
Do your best to keep it positive and ask with a"please" and"thank you." Let your kids know how good of a job they did at finishing their tasks, and tell them that you are proud of their work.
15 d
troy.sparkssandra.harmonautumn.cage
troy.sparks, sandra.harmon, autumn.cage and 7 other people started following this discussion
I worry that giving rewards means I'm sort of “bribing” my kids.
12 d
I think the popularity of “tough love” parenting is itself a reaction to helicopter parenting. It is driving parents to reject rewards, but this thinking is flawed, too.
11 d
I don't mind if you do rewards. Although, rewarding with favorite foods can actually be a bad idea, because it reinforces that there’s a hierarchy to the food pyramid—that sugary treats are more valuable and delicious than other foods. It can also make kids even more obsessed with whatever reward food you’re using.
11 d
I worry that giving rewards means I'm sort of “bribing” my kids.
It is crucial that you choose rewards your kid truly values, because otherwise, they won’t motivate him.
9 d
I think the popularity of “tough love” parenting is itself a reaction to helicopter parenting. It is driving parents to reject rewards, but this thinking is flawed, too.
I know what you mean. Parents worry that if they reward their kids for things they should be doing anyway, they’ll spoil them or turn them into snowflakes.
8 d
Our reward system, which we learned about from Weill Cornell Medicine psychologist Matthew Specht, is based on points: Each point our son earns is worth one cent as well as one minute of screen time. We keep tabs with a daily spreadsheet, which also shows him his tasks and activities for the day, providing him with the structure and predictability he craves. And we still control when he gets to use his screen time points, so he’s not actually watching any more than he used to. Perhaps the best part of the system is “bonus points,” when we spontaneously award points for something we notice him doing that we like—when he’s especially patient with his little sister or doesn’t freak out after losing a game of Uno. These bonus points have taught my husband and me to notice and point out when our son is being good, which isn’t always automatic for parents. When our kids color quietly, we sneak off to read the newspaper and don’t draw attention to their behavior. But we should praise them for giving us that break, too.
8 d
What reward system can you use to implement so it won't affect them adversely?
5 d